The Agony and the EcstacyOn Dune
by Realalien
Summary: Takes place after Children of Dune and chronicles the lives of Leto, Ghanima, and Lanara, the girl who steals Leto's heart. I suck at summaries, so shoot me. This story may turn to M later on, but i'm not sure yet.Remember to R&R!
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dune or Children of Dune. I just take the story and twist it for my own entertainment, yada yada yada...**

_Okay, one of my problems with Fan fictions is that I make up these stories and these characters in my head, and then people don't know who the hell they are. So here's the background of the main character, Lanara, Leto's lover and friend of the Royal Twins._

My name is Lanara, and I was born just a normal, fremen girl. I had parents, a brother, and a little sister. I hunted scorpions and dreamed of riding the great worms, just like any other child does. Little did I know what fate had in store for me. I was six years old when my life changed forever, when I lost all innocence. I wandered into a cave searching for an adventure, and an adventure is exactly what I found, though not what I had might have imagined. Upon entering the cave, I was knocked unconscious and taken deep inside. When I finally came to, it felt as if my brain had been replaced by someone else's. No, no that's not right. I had my childhood memories, but I had other memories as well, memories of my past lives. Something, or someone, came before me and told me what part of me already knew. I was no longer a fremen child. I was part of something bigger, more important. I was a servant of the Powers that controlled the universe and its fate, just as I had been in all of my past lives. My mission in this life was to be a guide to the One. The One that would bring the universe back onto the correct path. My family would not know me; I will have been erased from the minds of everyone I had ever known. I had to go to the city of Arrakeen and keep watch on the One. I could not fail. If I had an emergency, I could call upon the Powers to help. Otherwise, I was completely and utterly alone. I know you may think this is a bit much for a six year old to handle, but I understood it all. I was a person who had lived a thousand lives, stuck inside a child's body.

So I set off for Arrakeen, to start my mission. When I arrived in the city, I headed straight for the palace; for I knew that the One was one of the Royal Twins. Pretending to be an orphan, I was taken in by Irulan and employed as a servant and companion to the Twins, who were only a year younger that I. I could tell that they sensed I was different, but I never let on. I couldn't, not yet, for it wasn't time for them to fulfill their destiny. Over the years, I served them well and in return they accepted me as a close friend. Though Ghanima was closer to Leto than anyone else, she needed someone her own gender to talk to as she got older. Leto and I were close, but in a different way. We fought all the time, and as we got older the tension, mostly sexual, started to grow. By the time they were of age and Lady Jessica came to visit, I knew that they were ready to take the next step along the Golden Path. I helped them, along with Irulan, to escape from the palace and city walls. I could not go all the way with them, for this was for them and them alone. But before they left, I told Leto, in secret, the location of Jacarutu. I told him that he would have to be on his own once he got there, and that Ghanima could not come inside the city with him, if he failed, she was next in line. Thinking about him failing, about all that we had shared, I realized something that wasn't ever supposed to happen, I had fallen in love with him. So when he turned to leave, I pulled him back and kissed him lightly on the lips, and told him not to fail.

Ghanima was devastated when she thought that Leto was dead. It pained me to see her like this, when in truth I knew that he was alive. But then he came back, and all my doubts were gone. He had changed, had taken those first steps along the Golden Path. I had succeeded in my mission. When Ghanima told all of us to leave when we were fitting her wedding gown, I knew something was wrong. So after a few minutes I opened the doors and found her hugging Leto. They both turned at the noise. Leto and I simply stared at each other. Ghanima looked at me, looked at him, and then left the room. I suddenly felt nervous. He had questions about me, about what I did, about who I really was. I answered them all calmly, despite wanting to desperately hug him. I told him everything, about my childhood, about the cave, about my mission. It was the first time I had told anyone this. And when I was finished, for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to say. That's when he did it. He tilted my chin up so that he could look into my eyes, then he kissed me. This wasn't just any kiss; it was one that made the room spin, one that made me feel like we were the only two people in the entire world. It seemed to last for hours, and when we finally parted for lack of air, I looked up into his eyes and saw my own feelings mirrored in them.

That was the start of it, our relationship, if you can call it that. The rest of that fateful day is history. Alia is dead, Leto is the Emperor, and Ghanima and Far'adan are starting to fall in love. Honestly, I don't know where I fit in right now. My mission is fulfilled, I now need something else to make my life mean something, and I am no longer content as just a servant.

Now that you know about me, it's time to tell the story, our story, and it is not an easy one to tell.

_Okay, this is only my second fanfiction. My other one is a Harry Potter one and I'm kinda stuck on it. Please Read and Review as it is an excellent way to boost a writer's self esteem. Reviews equals High self esteem equals Better stories!!!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey, yea, i know i've been bad and havent updated in quite a long while but in january i started dating this guy and...well, lets just say that there was enough drama in my life without my stories. But now im back and I hope to get writing again._

The sun shone bright through the high glass windows of the meeting room. Just like the rest of the palace, huge stone columns appeared to hold up the high ceilings, and the walls and floors were engraved with gold. A group of twelve people sat around a large stone table. There were various heads of state all seated and discussing amongst themselves. At the head of the table was a tall young man with dark hair and striking eyes. Despite his youth, he held a power and dignity that was well beyond his years. To his left was a young woman about the same age, with the same blue eyes. But her hair was a sandy blond and her face was softer and still held some of its innocence. To the man's right was an older man with white hair and the same eyes. His face was line with age, but he still had a youthful energy about him. To the young woman's left was another man, older than the first, but much younger than the second. He held a strange mixture of innocence and scholarly dignity. He also sat facing the young woman, their hands clasped together in quiet intimacy. To the old man's left, almost hidden in the shadows, was also a young woman. Her attention was unwavering as she took in everything that was said at the table and recorded it in her head. Someone unintelligent would think that she simply stared in awe at the important people sitting at the table, but those who knew her knew that she was anything but naive. She had long dark hair and a petite, yet athletic build. Her face was young and unremarkable, but her eyes could bring even the most disinterested person to attention. They were large and a bit slanted in shape, and the striking color was caused by the deep fremen blue on top of emerald eyes. The only real interest she let show was when she took a quick glance at the man at the head of the table. When she did, her eyes were full of warm admiration and deep intimacy.

The meeting only lasted about three hours, and when it ended everything was the same. No major crises, no wars, no scandals. Just the way everyone liked it.

"Leto," the old man called out the other man at the head of the table, "Will you come to Tabir soon?"

Leto smiled, "I will try to visit soon Stil-gar."

Stil-gar nodded and left the room. The young blond rose from the table and reveals a very pregnant belly. The man to her right, obviously the proud father, put an arm around her shoulders.

"Ghanima and I will see you at dinner tonight?" he asked Leto.

"Yes," he replied and leaned over to give his sister a kiss, "You take care of Farad'an."

She smiled up at him, "Of course."

Then the couple left the room, leaving only Leto and the girl with the green eyes. Immediately the air in the room changed as he took a step towards her and took her into his arms.

"I've missed you," he said and pulled away to look into her eyes.

She smirked and brushed a piece of hair from his face, "And I you."

"Lenara," he whispered her name and bent down to kiss her. But she turned so that his lips only brushed her cheek and pulled out of his arms to wander around the room.

"These are quiet times Leto," she said gravely, "too quiet."

He laughed at her and crossed to her again. "Why must you be so negative all the time?" Leto wondered as he tried to take her into his arms, but once again she pushed him away.

"You do not have to act to me as you do to your council; I know you're just as uneasy as I am."

That same uneasiness flickered in his eyes. "I am worried that things have been running too smoothly as of late, but I sense nothing to be afraid of," he successfully stopped her pacing by pulling her into a gentle embrace, "so stop troubling yourself with these matters."

Lenara allowed herself to fall into the kiss and all of the emotions that went with it. But something else bothered her.

"I want to be on the council," she admitted when the kiss ended, "You know that I am more qualified than all of the members combined."

The fact that she was still a servant had been troubling her quite a bit since Leto took the throne. Why shouldn't she use some of the ages of knowledge that she possessed to make something of herself? Leto scrutinized her for a moment, then realized the sensibility in her claim.

"It shall be done," he whispered, "You will be a member of my council by the time the week is out."

"Thank you," she said, and then kissed him on the forehead, and left him alone in the council chambers to go over his thoughts.

_It's only a short chapter, and kind of weak, i think ill re-do it sometime soon. but i just wanted to know what you guys think. so read and review please!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, so ive finally decided to update this story, as i have finally found all of these random notebook pages that ive written on in the the past year or so. So now ive decided to put up all of them. I know this is just a short chapter, but its kind setting up to the other things that ive written._

Twin moons of Arrakis cast an eerie glow over the palace walls. Leto gazed at the cold granite, fascinated by the blue and yellow light playing off of the detailed stone. So many thoughts ran through his mind. He knew that simply getting rid of Alia would not eradicate all of their problems, there were still many followers of the radical religion centered on his father that refused to stray from their beliefs. But for the past two years since Alia's death there had been almost no trouble. All of the Alia's followers had either given up, or had fled to the outer reaches of the universe, waiting for a day that they would be able to take control. Of course, that day would never come under Leto's rule. Lanara was right; things were too quiet, too peaceful. Instating her into the High Council might change all of that. None of the advisors would approve of it. Even in these modern times they still looked down upon women in power, especially after Alia and the Bene Gesserit's corruption. They would like the fact that she was Leto's lover even less. Though they tried to keep their relationship a secret, everyone in the palace knew about it. Leto looked down at the woman sleeping silently beside him, the glow of the moonlights casting causing the planes and lines of her face to light up and take on an ethereal appearance. Who knew that the God Emperor of Dune could be brought to his knees by a single woman? But that is the thing about love. He may have been the savior of the Universe, the most powerful creature alive, but he would have given his life for her. Now his duty to the Universe and his love for Lanara would battle for precedence in his mind.

_So what is Leto going to do? Do what the one he love wants? Or what his sense of duty tells him to do?Don't worry, the next post should be a rather long one. Always remember to R&R. thanks guys!_


	4. Chapter 4

**New chapter, yey! i finally got my computer to work. So here it is. Okay, so to set this up. This next chapter takes place about 5 years after the first few. Lanara left Arrakis and no one knows exactly why. Now she comes back and things are turned upside down. hope you like it, its shorter than i thought**

_I don't own Children of Dune, blah blah blah_

"You're avoiding her," Ghanima chided. She and Leto were getting prepared for the welcoming ball later that night. They both looked stunning in their regal attire, as usual. But Let seemed a bit nervous, pulling at his collar as if it restricted his breathing. "Who?" he asked, his voice not betraying his emotions. Ghanima cocked an eyebrow at him, "You can't ignore each other forever."

He sighed, "I'll see her tonight. You know I've been very busy these past few hours. When would I have had a chance to catch up with an old friend when there is so much work to be done?"

"Old friend? I think not my dear brother," she put a hand on his shoulder. He leaned back a little, taking comfort in his sibling's gentle touch. There had been indeed little time to relax these past few hours. "You have to talk to her," she whispered.

"I know."

"There is much unresolved between you."

"I know"

Ghanima was beginning to tire of these emotionless answers. So she asked a question that she knew he did not so readily know the answer to. "What did you do to make her leave?"

At that Leto turned away, but stayed silent. Remembering the hurt of Lanara's final words to him was like opening an old wound; knowing that he was somehow the cause of her leaving was even more of a blow.

"You hurt her, and she hurt you. This is not that big a place, Leto. You are going to have to confront the issue sometime in the very near future if you want to live in the same palace without going for each other's throats." She knew both her brother and her friend, and she had secretly watched their last few moments together. The anger that had been there had been greater than any she had ever seen. If Lanara had stayed in that room a few minutes longer, one of them wouldn't have been alive by the end of it. When those two had a fight brewing in their blood, good things did not come. When Leto didn't respond, she realized that there was no way to get to her brother right now. It pained her that even though they were closer to each other than anyone else, he wouldn't let her see what he was thinking. He merely continued to look out the window. He didn't see Ghanima leave, or another woman enter.

"Leto," the voice was low and female, dripping with sensuality. Warm arms followed and wrapped around his waist. He felt hot breath on his ear as it was nipped playfully. Safron's scent permeated his senses and he turned into the embrace. Just because Lanara had broken his heart didn't mean that he couldn't take comfort in a lover. In fact, Safron had provided him with much enjoyment for the past few years. She had begun as a simple secretary for one of his aids. One night he had wandered into the aid's office by accident, and she had been there, alone. From then on they had a mutual appreciation for each other's company, though their relationship was far from the true love that he had felt for the woman who had left him, or so he thought.

"Are you ready for the party yet?" Her voice and breath warmed him, but even her gentle touch could not shake the fear that he felt of seeing Lanara again. Nevertheless, he put on a calm face and looked into the eyes of the redhead standing in front of him. Her hair was long and flowing, the green dress that she wore hugged her sensuous curves. She was the kind of woman that a man appreciated having at his side. Sure there was an intelligence hiding behind those soft brown eyes, but to everyone else she was just a pretty face with not much to say.

"I'm as ready as I will ever be," he said. She smiled warmly. Despite Leto's lukewarm feelings, she loved him very much, and she could hardly wait to tell him the little secret that she had been hiding for the past few days. But timing was everything, and right now he seemed a bit distressed. Faint lines had appeared around his eyes, and he always looked tired. Actually, he'd been acting this way ever since the arrival of the ship from Caladan. It was the one envoy that he had not personally seen to yet. Something was wrong, and she was interested to see what it was that was upsetting her lover. This party, she decided, would not be one to miss.

The great hall was decorated lavishly. Piles of food lined the tables on the sides of the room. Music streamed through hidden speakers, and the flag of the house Atredies hung high across the windows. Telixu dancers swayed and twirled around the room, their gold anklets lightly clanging on the smooth marble floor. Strategically placed Fedikan guards made sure that none of the guests got too rowdy. Leto silently congratulated himself on being able to pull this entire thing off. Gods below knew how much all of the officials need this night to relax before the grueling summit meetings began. Scanning the room, he saw hundreds of diplomats and ambassadors, all richly dressed and talking up a storm. Chatter ranged from the prices of Spice travel to the latest conflict on Ixia IV. A few tried to trap him into a political discussion, but, being the artful leader that he was, Leto quickly declined and moved on to the next group of people. The crowds were dense, and they all parted for their God-Emperor, but there was none of the reverent bowing and chanting as there was in the streets of Arrakeen when he decided to walk out in the open. These were politicians, and their motives lay beyond simple religious devotion.

After he tired of the mindless verbal exchange, he sought out his sister. It did not take long to find her, they had always had and intuitive sense of where the other was. She was standing in a corner by the throne speaking to another woman, though he could not see who it was as she had her back turned towards him. Ghanima gestured in his direction, "And of course I do not need to introduce you to my brother." He stopped short when the woman turned around. She was dressed in a black, off the shoulder sheath and her sleek chin length hair artfully framed her face. The Fremen blue hadn't faded from her emerald green eyes. They still looked like the twin moons when their lights shined together. Her face was a bit softer now that she had been off world for so long, but other than that she hadn't changed a bit. She was still just as breathtakingly beautiful as he remembered her to be. In fact, he did almost forget to breathe.

Lanara's smile faltered a bit when she turned around and saw Leto standing in front of her, and she quickly put on an air of calm and poise. "It has been too long," she said and took his hand in greeting. The contact of his skin against hers felt like a brand, but she took a deep breath and stayed calm. Though he'd noticed her brief moment of insecurity, Leto did not let on and smiled right back. A part of him was glad that he wasn't the only one going through turmoil. "Too long," he answered.

"Won't you introduce me to your friend?" Lanara gestured to the statuesque beauty that had just come up beside him and put and arm around his waist. She felt the grip of jealousy around her chest, but suppressed it.

Safron had watched the exchange between them. Though both had spoke and smiled warmly to each other, their eyes gave them away. Leto turned to her,

"This is Safron, she's a…close friend."

Lanara knew exactly what he meant by "close friend", she wasn't stupid, and simply nodded, trying not to let anyone know how much pain she was in.

"Pleased to meet you," she said and shook Safron's hand.

"And Safron, this is Lanara, our ambassador to Caladan," Leto introduced his lover to the woman who broke his heart. Lanara didn't have much time to think about what she felt because at that moment her little daughter decided to run up to them. "Mommy!" the little girl squealed and wrapped her arms around her mother's legs.

"What happened to Uncle Faradan?" Lanara asked.

Her daughter shrugged and turned to Safron and Leto.

"I'm Accalia," she said proudly. Leto laughed and bent down to look at the charming little girl.

"I'm Leto," he introduced himself. She had her mother's dark hair and small frame. "Well if Faradan is your uncle, then that makes me your uncle too." The girl looked up at him and smiled. Leto's heart caught in his throat and felt as if all of the wind had been knocked out of him, again. This little girl may have been a carbon copy of her mother, but when he looked into her eyes, he saw himself staring back. They were the same shape and color as his own, and the cynical yet wondrous look in them reminded him of himself. "How old are you?" he inquired. "Five," she said, once again, proudly. There was no mistaking it then. He looked up at Lanara, a puzzled and almost angry look upon his face. She gave him a look that told him that they had much to talk about, but later.

"What just happened?" Leto asked himself as he wandered throughout the Great Hall, not even paying any attention to dignitaries now. Seeing Lanara again had been just as hard as he had expected. His heart had leapt a little when he saw the emotions in her eyes. A foolish part of him had thought, 'Maybe there's still a chance…' But he was not prepared for the stabbing pain of the cold and distant look in her eyes when Safron had come to his side. And he was most definitely not prepared for discovering that he had a daughter. Of course Lanara hadn't confirmed that yet, but there was no mistaking those eyes. Accalia, she was such a striking little girl. His heart equally bloomed and shattered at the thought of having created such a wonderful being. His eyes followed her throughout the room, watching her in fascination as she interacted with the adults in the room. She was polite and shy, her mother no doubt had made sure that she was on her best behavior, but there was that hint of excitement of being at such an important event among such vivid characters. The thought that Lanara had hidden her from him for five years made him miserable. He made a promise to spend time with his daughter while she and her mother were here.

All of the people packed into the Great Hall made the room oppressively hot. Leto made his way through the crowds and stepped out to a balcony to breathe. He was surprised to find Lanara standing there, leaning on the balcony in what seemed like deep thought. At first he began to step back into the Hall as to leave her in her thoughts, but then thought better of it and continued forward. There was no one else around them to listen. It was the opportune moment to say everything that they had to say.

Lanara was indeed lost in thought, for there was a lot on her mind. She shouldn't have expected Leto to stay alone while she was gone. He was an attractive, powerful man, and women flock to that type of man. There had been others in her life as well. Five years was a long time to go without any sort of intimacy. But Safron, she gave a shiver of disgust at the name; there was something off about her. She seemed too arrogant, too…something. It was not jealousy, Lanara told herself, there just wasn't something right about that woman. It would have felt so good to just rip that smirk right off of her painted face, and after years of living and being trained the Fremen way she was very capable of doing just that. But what that horrid snake was smirking about is what bothered her most, and she was determined to find out what it was. The cool granite felt good beneath her fingers, which unconsciously traced the subtle cracks that ran up and down the railing. Desert and sand stretched out wide beyond the city walls, giving way to mountains of rock that had once held the soldiers of Maudib's armies. Tomorrow she would travel to Sietch Tabr, the place where she had spent most of her childhood. Already memories were coming back to her, both soothing and troubling. She remembered the times when she, Ghanima, and Leto hunted scorpions, and snuck out of the Sietch late at night to explore the desert. Hopefully she would find more welcoming thoughts than at the Palace, where everything reeked of politics and treachery.

Her reverie was broken by a hand on her shoulder. She jumped a bit, and then turned around to see who it was and what they wanted. The last person that she expected to see was Leto, but she guessed that she should have. The look in his eyes when he saw his daughter told her that he had questions, and he wanted them answered. That was probably what he wanted now.

"We need to talk." She was right.

"About what?"

"You know perfectly well what." Unable to look him in the eye, she kept her gaze upon the desert. It was now dotted with small patches of green, she noticed. It sent an uneasy feeling through her stomach. The desert was slowly disappearing; she could sense its turmoil. Maybe there was a reason that she had come back…

"There are a lot of things that need to be said," she whispered.

Leto realized that this was not going to be easy at all. Exasperated, he leaned on the railing beside her, head hung low. "She is mine, isn't she?" he asked. There was a long pause.

"Yes."

"Did you know when you left?"

Another long pause.

"Yes."

"Then gods below why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I have?" Now she turned and looked him straight in the eye. She would stand up for what she did till the day that she died.

"Because she's my child! My flesh and blood! I had every right to know that I had helped create something so beautiful."

At any other time, his sweet words regarding her child would have melted her heart instantly, but the red hot fury coursing through her veins now kept Lanara from giving in to any of his words.

"Maybe you need to refresh your memory, because if I remember correctly we did not part on the most amicable of circumstances," she spat out bitterly. They stood close now, toe to toe, chin to nose. Leto could feel her furious breaths on his skin.

"That means nothing," his hand swept through the air dismissing her words.

"You would have kept me from leaving if you'd had known."

He began to protest, but knew that it was useless lying to her and himself. He knew that he never would have let her go if he had known she was carrying his child. Maybe if he had known, they could have worked things out, come to a compromise. Then he could have had a family right now, and none of the pain or suffering would have happened. "Would that really have been so bad?" his voice softened. The anger in them was slowly fading, leaving their sore hearts bear and open. Lanara turned away again, averting her eyes from his for fear of him seeing into her soul.

"Why did you leave?" he whispered, as much to himself as to her. It was a question that had floated through his mind every single day of the five years that they had been apart. He knew that he had hurt her, that he had betrayed her trust. But there had to be more to it than that, he knew that there was more to it than that. Her mind was open and vulnerable, so he took a chance and tried to probe the outer edges of her thoughts, searching for an answer. He should have known better. She sensed him the very second he entered her mind and immediately, and a bit forcefully, shut him out. The anger was back.

"How dare you! I would have thought that even after five years you would have retained your respectability and remembered that we promised not to read each other's thoughts," she faced him again and gave him a little shove, "You don't probe my thoughts, I don't probe yours."

He grabbed her hand to keep her from striking him. "How else am I going to get a straight answer? Anything that comes through your mouth has been twisted and manipulated so that it is what you want the person to hear." His words stung like acid on a wound.

"And I'm the only one that sugarcoats their words?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

Enough was enough, she wasn't going to dodge his questions any longer, and five years was long enough to wait for an answer. He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a shake.

"Why did you leave?" he demanded.

She took a deep breath.

"Because you betrayed me," she said through her teeth, "You betrayed my trust and since my job here was done I had no reason to stay." Her hands pushed his off her shoulders. "And don't you ever touch me again." Her answer had stung, even though a part of him knew that it was true. He had chosen politics over their love. He thought she would have understood what he had to do, but obviously she didn't see it the way that he did. There was a deep seated hurt behind the anger in her eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her there until her pain was eased.

"Lanara," he said her name for the first time in five years. It felt so right upon his lips, so sweet in his voice. She turned, a part of her desperately hoping that things would go back to the way they were. But then a female voice called out.

"Leto? Leto where are you my love?"

Safron, he thought, she always knew how to ruin a moment. When he looked at Lanara he saw that her defenses were back up, and the bitter cold was once again in her eyes. "Your lover calls," she said, her words were like honey laced in arsenic, mockingly sweet. And with that, she walked back into the Great Hall and he did not see her for the rest of the night.

Safron came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, as she had done so many times before. But this time it just didn't seem right. All of his feelings for Lanara had come back upon him full force. He shrugged Safron off of him. "Not now," he said and walked to a different part of the balcony, into the darkness. Safron stood and stared at his retreating back. She had heard the argument between the two former lovers, and now she understood Leto's discomfort for the past few days. Their discussion made her feel uneasy. She couldn't have an old lover getting between her and her future. The only way that she would secure her place in the upper echelons of the Palace would be through Leto. Everyone else thought her a whore, but as long as she was at the Emperor's side, no one could touch her. She would have to make sure that Lanara did not disrupt her plans for power.


	5. Chapter 5

**So I've finally come up with some inspiration. I'd like to thank my wonderful boyfriend, Frank, who I love more than anything. And I would also like to thank the best English teacher ever, Mr. Brett. I would also like to thank everyone that reviewed, hearing feedback really does help, so keep up the good work! Here's what I've put down so far, the first part is a flashback, if you can't tell. Hopefully this time I'll keep my word and update more often. I think I may throw in a lemon in a few chapters because I was playing around with one and my friend told me that it was pretty good, but don't worry, it won't get excessive, unless you guys want it to be. I just hate it when a story seems deep and well written and then it just turns in to fluff. Let me know what you think.**

_I don't own Children of Dune, or Dune, or anything else by Frank Herbert, blah, blah, blah..._

Leto hung his head with fatigue. His eyes hurt, his body was sore, and his mental state wasn't exactly the best. He wondered how long it would take her to figure it out. That morning she had been as peaceful as ever; nothing had given him a clue that she knew. He was thankful for the peace, no matter how temporary it was. The feeling of foreboding that had settled into his stomach told him that it would not last much longer.

He knew that it was Lanara before the doors swung open. She looked calm and composed, but he could sense the anger about to boil over. He hoped she would be quick, her temper rarely reared its head, but when it did things ended badly. She stood at the entrance to the office for a few moments, staring him down with those flashing green eyes of hers. Then she strode forward, closing the doors with a wave of her hand. Then she walked forward and all but slammed a tiny black mechanism down on his desk. The loud bang made him jump a bit.

"What is this?" she said coolly, temper snapping at her throat. He could not bring his eyes to hers.

"So even the great Emperor Leto can't look a betrayed woman in the eye?"

He sighed; this was the end of his peace. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

She snorted. "Don't play the fool with me Leto; you know what I'm talking about." Because it was true he lowered his eyes back to the table.

"It's not what it looks like…"

"Oh I think it is. I think that you let those scheming bastards bug my room because in your heart, you think that I did it."

"You love Ghanima, how could you kidnap her child?"

"My point exactly, but evidently you believe the contrary." In her heart of hearts she didn't want this to be happening. Her heart wanted his words to be true, but her head was very prepared to not believe him.

He got up now, and skirted around the table until they were face to face. He may be willing to take a verbal beating, but he wasn't going to do it sitting down or defenseless.

"I did what I had to do…"

Oh please, gods below don't let this be happening, she screamed in her thoughts.

"Don't bring up duty to me, Leto," she said. "I know what they say about me behind closed doors. Of course a servant girl would never be smart enough to rise up to the council on her own…" She trailed off when she saw the look on his face.

"You believe them…don't you? You think that the only reason that I'm on the council is to ruin House Atredies…"

He pretended to be shocked that she would come to such a conclusion, but then he realized that that would be insulting her intelligence.

"I'd nev…" He tried to embrace her; maybe there was still a chance…

"And if you believe that, you probably think that I'm just a whore too. You never really respected me, or loved me."

Her eyes went unreadable as she backed away from him. She nodded slightly.

"I see…" And with that she walked from the room.

He stood there, stunned. Her words had not been as painful as her eyes. That cold, unfeeling look had chilled him to the bone. Couldn't she tell that he loved her? Couldn't she understand that he was just trying to do what was best? No, he thought, it's not that she couldn't, it was that she wouldn't, her personality wouldn't allow it. He picked up the small listening device that lay on the desk and felt his heart begin to crack…

Leto woke up with tears streaming down his face and an unbearable pain in his chest. It was the first time he had had the dream in almost five years. At one time he would remember that moment every night as he slept, and would awake to an empty bed and realize all over again that it was no dream; Lanara was gone. Now he found himself next to a warm, soft body, but the woman next to him was not the one that his heart cried out for, the one person besides his sister who could make him feel human. Safron…he remembered who this woman was. After two years together he would still catch himself looking at her like a stranger. Now that Lanara had returned, it was even worse. For the past few nights since their meeting at the ball she was constantly in his head, and he hoped Safron didn't notice his preoccupation. She was so good to him. She was quiet, gentle, supportive, everything that an Emperor's concubine should be. And gods below knew that she was excellent in bed. She had first come to Arrakeen looking for her father, a spice smuggler who had fled from the city after the uprising against Alia. After working in the palace for a month or so, the lovely redhead had begun to grown on him. They engaged in a very heated and tumultuous affair before she became considered his officially unofficial mistress. The last few months she had begun to push for full concubine-ship, but he just could not think of her in the same position as his mother and grandmother. She just did not seem to fit in a group with such strong, independent, and admirable women. She did not appear to be able to handle the responsibility and weight that came with the position. But he did care for her, and had a great fondness for her, so he hoped that she would eventually let the matter rest.

His head done swirling from the memories, he settled back into bed and drifted into a dreamless sleep. Safron waited until she was sure that he was asleep, then turned and studied his face. She had indeed noticed the change that had come over him since the ball, and she knew the source of his uneasiness. It was a pity, she had hoped that the lovely little ambassador would not intrude on her agenda, but for the past two nights she had awoken to Leto moaning her name in his sleep. It did not help that she was pretty sure that Lanara's little girl was his. Oh well, she mused as she ran a hand absently over her stomach, she was very doubtful that he would ever claim the child, and if anything like that did happen, she would make sure that whatever stood in front of her and her unborn child's destiny would be eliminated. She fell back asleep with a smile on her face, smiling as the image of her hands around Lanara's lifeless neck filled her mind.


End file.
